Hello. My name is Jakob Berry. And I own a Pistachio Farm all the way down in the center of the Earth. We grow all sorts of Pistachios. If you think there are different kinds of Pistachios, then you are correct. Our highly trained professionals have been designing the technology to create new and very delicious pistachios. We are trying to provide what the Earth has not provided and create the ultimate nut. Not that our default pistachios aren't as delicious as apple pie, but we're trying to create an even better version. What do we call this quaint little farm of ours? None other than the Nutty Acres of the Earth. I mean come on. How could you not trust these loving faces?

So I say come on down to Nutty Acres of the Earth. We'd be happy to give you a free sample. Just go to the center of the Earth, battle Bill the Giant Depressed Sand Worm, Ride on the Trolley Car of Doom, Scale the Mountain of Lost Socks, Jump down it without getting ALL of your bones crushed and mutilated, Doorbell Ditch the Keeper Elves' Tree, Sprinkle some seasoning (any kind) on a bush that states that it will murder you in your sleep, and then a door with 8 door knobs will appear. Open it with the doorknob in the bottom left corner. Then you will be at good ol' Nutty Acres. It's the best place all around.